Permanent

tattooYou are looking at my very first tattoo.

This tattoo means a lot to me because its for my bestfriend Samantha Trebbi.

I picked to tattoo a sunflower on my body for her.

She loves sunflowers and she thinks they are the most beautiful of any flower.

When I look at this tattoo, it makes me so happy. Although the reason I got it isn’t so happy. My bestfriend actually passed away when we were going into our Sophomore year of highschool. We spent a whole summer together laughing, fighting, going out, having fun. Then we started school and on October 10th 2010, she passed away. This wasn’t expected at all. Happened out of no where and was a shock to everyone. Espically me. I couldn’t believe it. Sam was the type of person that would really light up a room she was the most enegertic person I knew. She would always find a way to have a good time. There was never a dull moment with her. My most fond memory with her is part of the reason I decided to get this tattoo. I’ll never forget this day we were bored and decided to do this weird rainbow make up to our eyes and take pictures. We went down to the lake by her house and she picked up two little sunflower like flowers on the floor she put one in my hair and the other in hers. Anyway the pictures came out awesome, I’ll post one below. After we were done taking the pictures she took the flower and picked off each peddle and said ” He loves, he loves me not” and that is why in my tattoo I have a peddle dropping with her name. That was the best day I ever had with her. Now its been 2 years 11 months and 5 days since then, but everyday I still feel her close to me. Most people say you will regret your tattoo when you are older, but I don’t think I could ever regret this. When I look at this tattoo I almost feel like a part of her is with me wherever I go.

samandi

Now that I’ve told you the story about my tattoo I will tell you the story of my tattoo. Although I always wanted to get a tattoo for my bestfriend I never thought that I would get it so impulsively. Let me begin by telling you that I rarely get into trouble and for the most part listen to what my parents have to say, but when it came to taking this action to my own body I decided they didn’t have to know.

Early one summer day in June I woke up and told myself today was the day, I was talking about getting tattoos with one of my friends from Miami and we went to get some price ranges from different tattoo shops. One tattoo shop told me I would have to pay 200, although I had a job back in Miami I couldn’t afford to pay that much. Finally we found this tattoo place near Bird Road, which was extremely far away from my house, but I decided to check it out anyways. We walked in and the first sign of a good tattoo shop is a kind of hospital smell, which I hate but that told me the place was sanitary.

Anyways I told the guy my idea he said it was a really rad concept and told me it would only be 110! I was so excited because I had exactly that much money to spare.  So since this was a very impulsive decision I went the next day with my boyfriend of 4 years and got it. I walked into the shop knowing that I wanted to get the tattoo done somewhere near my heart so I thought my ribcage would be a perfect place to get it… I was very very wrong. When he started doing the tattoo it didn’t hurt so bad but then he went into the shading portion of the tattoo and it hurt like HELL I could not bare it I was screaming very very loud and squeezing my boyfriends hand for 20 minutes until finally I got use to the feeling. Although I am happy with the placement of the tattoo I would never ever recommend anyone to get a very detailed tattoo on that part of the body because it really does hurt very badly.

Before I got the tattoo I really did not think of how hard it would be to hide but I needed to hide it from my parents for 3 months before I started living in Gainesville, cause if they would have found out I probably wouldn’t be writing this right now cause they would not have let me come here.  Although it was really hard to hide I ended up getting away with it until I moved here. Getting this tattoo was worth all of the obstacles I had to go through, I believe it has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life.

Transporation

 So I have been riding a scooter for the past 4 months since I moved to Gainesville because my parents couldn’t afford to buy me a car yet.

I ended up hating taking the bus and started saving up for a scooter I finally bought one off this guy on craigslist, since thats the cheapest way to buy. The guy ended up being really really nice and sold it to me for cheap.

At first I loved riding my scooter it was fun and I didn’t have to spend a lot of money on gas. Until it started to suck lol. My scooter wasn’t running great and I needed to get it fixed. Since the guy that sold it to me was nice he helped me pay for the damages on the scooter.

Anyways after a while I started getting annoyed so I called my parents and told them I was having trouble with my scooter and since they were not to happy about me getting a scooter in the first place they were not very sympathetic.

But I am very convincing so the other day my mom told me she was coming for the day which I thought was kind of strange since I knew she just got a job recently and had work the next day.

She shows up with my older brother the next day and asked me to come outside to get some stuff out of the car, so I went down stairs and I saw my dads old car ! Turns out they were buying new cars and were planing on giving me my dads old car.

I was extremely happy its a pretty big car though its an Ford Expedition but I really do not care because its a car I can’t believe that they gave me one but I am really thankful that they were thinking of me and gave me one.

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Thinking thinking thinking

Sometimes it takes me a while to think about what to write in these blog posts. Although I enjoy writing a lot and can usually write non sense all day everyday. I become blank from the pressures of trying so hard to think about what to write here. For me writing is a stress reliever and sometimes when I’m thinking so hard about what to write it turns me away and makes my writing seem like work rather then the escape it has always been for me. It’s a shame really.

I’ve been drawn to my journals tumblr and twitter to express what goes on in my head everyday but when I write here I don’t think I have the freedom to say whatever I want because of the lack of conformability that I find in the other blog websites I write on. I guess it’s cause I’m being graded on this and it’s not just because I feel like it it’s more of a because I have to , type thing now.

I also don’t trust many people and would feel uncomfortable expressing my feelings here so publicly although nothing on the internet is private. I don’t know where I’m going with this and by saying this I kind of just prove to myself that I really have nothing to say on here other than a bunch of bullshit that won’t really matter and isn’t significant lol.

But I don’t want to offend this idea of homework because it can help improve peoples writing skills. But for someone like me who doesn’t enjoy the pressure of being forced to do anything especially something that I  really love to do, this really sucks. Oh well you gotta do what you gotta do. Thats just how life works sometimes your escape traps you.
That’s all.

Love, the inside of my head.

word count: 309

My dog is my bestfriend

Image

Photo taken by me when I first got Sadie on my bed in Miami

People say that dogs are a mans bestfriend and it is the very truth. My dog is the most amazing friend I could ever ask for she brightens my darkest days , her name is Sadie she’s a wiener dog(:

She was born December 7th 2012, and weirdly enough I bought her off craigslist back when I was in Miami.

I would say I’m a really big craigslist user, do not judge me hahaa.

I got her before I came to college because I really thought I was going into depression because of different issues going on in my life. While I was going through these trials in my life it was really comforting coming home to my dogs kisses and her cuddling up next to me while I slept all day. There is never a dull moment with my dog shes always hyper and loves to play. She is actually really funny, partly because she is the shape of a wiener, but her personality is not like any other dogs i know.

She never fails to make my day.

Although she does know how to push my buttons, since she is a puppy she poops and pees everywhere, but she does keep me busy lol.

I really enjoy having a dog in college, she is the only piece of home that I really have in my apartment, she keeps me at ease when I come home from a rough day at school or work.

Anyways this is Sadie now she is all grown up.. but not really cause she is actually the smallest wiener dog that I have ever seen lol. That picture makes me laugh so much (:

I wouldn’t trade my dog for any other dog in the world. 

word count : 302

I think I may be addicted to shopping

Recently my good friend Zuny introduced me to this website called Poshmark. Which is basically a website with peoples “closets'” but its just a bunch of clothes that people want to either sell or trade stuff that are in each others closets. I have been non stop shopping on this website and getting a bunch of new clothes sometimes without even spending any money at all.

I have traded so many of my old clothes that I barely ever wear with brand new clothes. By doing this I have a bunch of new clothes that I can wear out and being a college student I have barely any money as it is so this really helps me save money.

When I am not trading clothes I am getting a bunch of extra cash for groceries and take out when I am wayyy to lazy to make myself a meal.

A lot of things that retail for so much money are sold on here for soooo much cheaper.  Brands that are usually very expensive like Brandy Melville, Ray Ban, Michael Kors, Tobi, Tory Burch, Nasty Gal, Urban Outfitters, Gucci, Steve Madden, American Apparel, Burberry, Chanel, Coach, Dolce & Gabbana, LV, LF, all of these brands are on here and most of the stuff is usually in super good condition and usually the people will negotiate prices I just bought a pair of Ray Bans that retail for 245 I bought them for only 80 dollars. I thought that was awesome.

This website is really the best if anyone really enjoys shopping and looking at clothes should check out this website and follow me (:

word count :305

Summer Heights High

For those of you that don’t know, or have never watched the show Summer Heights High needs to right now. This show is most definitely the funniest show besides How I met you mother that I have ever watched. I just thought I should share that, maybe it makes someones day (: Anways…. I have a journal that I left in Miami and I went back two weekends ago to get it. I came across something I wrote before I moved to Gainesville. At this time I had just gotten my tonsils taken out and I had a lot of free time on my hands since I couldn’t really go anywhere. I spent most of that time writing and preparing for college. I was taking care of a lot of stuff on my own, my parents were not really happy about me moving to Gainesville so I had to do a lot of things by myself like sign a lease and get finical aide… so I guess when i wrote this I was really stressed out I don’t remember cause I have the worst memory in the world but when I’m stressed I write in my journal. This is what i wrote to myself…

So much to say so little time

Life goes by so fast.

I was just in high school the other day and now I’m off to college.

I don’t know how to feel right now. My emotions are all over the place and I cant find the right words to say.

That’s weird cause I usually have all the words.

I always know what to say to comfort a situation.

Now I am blank.

That was it pretty much. It’s crazy to look back on that and actually be here now living in Gainesville and doing a pretty great job on my own.

I have a job, an awesome apartment, I have pretty good grades, and the bestfriends I could ever ask for.

Well thats all i have to say really.

word count: 334

Happy happy happy

Have you ever felt super happy for no reason(:

Today I was in the best mood. I love that feeling, even though I’ve had a pretty shity week I just decided today that I was going to be happy even if it was for nothing. I mean life is too short to be so unhappy or dwell on stupid things that really don’t matter right?

Daily I look on this app called stumbleupon its my favoriteeeeee app on my phone cause it goes through different websites that serve my interests. Anyway, I found this website that had a list of quotes. The title was ” 50 of the most amazing quotes”. Since I l love quotes I decided to copy and paste my favorites.

Here they are,

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on.”

– Robert Frost

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

– Thomas Edison

“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.”

– Walt Disney

 “No one can cheat you out of ultimate success but yourself.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

“In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.”

– Bill Cosby

“The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.”

– Steve Jobs

“It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.”

– Leo Tolstoy

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

– Margaret Hungerford

 “Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it.”

– Confucius

I don’t want to bore you with more but the best one I found made me so hopeful it said ” There’s no where you can be, that isn’t where you are meant to be”. Since I just moved down here I thought that was really relevant to my situation I really thought that I wasn’t meant to be here but now I am starting to realize that I am. I have a purpose here I just haven’t figure it out yet. I will soon enough(:

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Things I really miss about Miami

1. My mom

2. My siblings, two brothers and one sister

3. My pops

4. My grandmother

5. My little baby teddy(dog)

6. My neighbors but really they are my family( Megan Michael Tony Debbie Bella Ceaser)

7. My bestfriend Lauren

8. My old room

9. The Falls, Dadeland, Sunset

10. My old job, my old co workers, my second home

11.  April Bob and Zach

12. My bestfriends room

13. Nordstrom Bistro

14. The beach

15. Coral Reef Park

16. My car which isn’t even going to be there when i go visit cause my sister got in an accident

17.  Palmetto High, surprisingly

18.  Going on the boat

19. Urban Outfitters

20. The bad drivers ? They kind of followed me here though lol

21. El Salvadorian restaurants

22. Sports Grill

23.  The grove

24. The long narrow streets covered in the most beautiful trees 

25. MANGOS, the good kind

26. My pool

27. My whole house. I’ve lived there for a good 13 years.

28. OMG Mojito

29. I miss the publix by my house

30. Last but not least I miss Deering Esate

I just really feel homesick lately. I know I haven’t been here that long, its only been a month but its just so different from Miami. Anyone from Miami feels my pain. Miami is just an awesome place.

So is Gainesville. Its just not Miami and I can’t explain how different the people are. I’ve met people from Miami here and I feel like they are so much easier to talk to.

But I also like learning how people talk here. I like the change, but I cant help miss the feeling of being somewhere familiar.

Being here will let me grow and become more independent though and thats something I wouldn’t be able to do in Miami.

I’m learning a lot about myself here. I have been going through some stuff but its just a trial that i need to overcome it only takes a little bit of time .

word count : 300

I HATE MATH

I know it is bad to say you hate something but honestly I can’t think of another word that is more appropriate then “hate” to describe my feelings towards math. I could sit here all day and stress the fact that I will most probably never have to use order of operations, or slope intercept form in my life time. I just really don’t understand the need to be taught things I won’t need ever. I should probably start to have a different mind set towards math though but my feelings will never change. I feel like every time I get the hang of something in math and reconsider my feelings , something harder and more complex comes a long to bring me back to where I started.
I know I’m not stupid and this subject always makes me think I just might be.Ha, I just called myself stupid. Just kidding, I am obviously not stupid but really math is just too much for me sometimes. I get really flustered when I can’t figure out how to complete some of my assignments. I wish I was one of those math people. You know, those people that loveeeee math.

I stopped doing my math homework just to come and vent on here about how much i really cant stand it anymore. I don’t see anything good in having to do something that you don’t enjoy. Blogging is  something I could do all day. Something that doesn’t make me so angry and if anything calms the nerves that were started from something I really have no interest in learning about.  I think this is actually able to teach me something useful. Math really does me no good ever.  Just puts me in a shitty mood and if you knew me you wouldn’t like me when I am in a shitty mood.

word count: 308